My motivation? That’s an easy one, everything since becoming a dad has been driven towards providing the best start in life possible for my two boys.
What does that have to do with Movember? Well, everything. The low hanging fruit there being the work they do supporting individuals & their families that are affected by testicular and prostate cancers.
Maybe more importantly for me it is the work in supporting and raising awareness of mental health issues we may all face and breaking the taboo & stigma associated surrounding this.
If I asked anyone mid 20s and older, what were you taught about mental health or self care growing up, the answer I am sure would be universal……………nothing! Dig a little deeper, specifically as a young man growing up, what were you told about feelings? Your own feelings? Talk about them? Never!
I wouldn’t blame the male role models in my life for this, it’s the exact same tools they were given, but that’s where charities/movements like Movember come in, allowing us to retrain generations into a better way of approaching these subjects, helping us to become better role models for the future generations, for our children, grandchildren and others. Contributing to a world where mental health is just seen as health, and discussing this is no longer seen as something alien.
My mental health has, in the past, been to some incredibly low depths, something that I am not ashamed to share. Depressive periods that I was unsure would ever end, unless of course I was the one to end it. Thankfully in the weirdest of ways, my fear of dying was what prevented me from doing it, that and deaths of close relatives, at far too young ages from critical illnesses. For me I would have felt disrespectful throwing away a life when they didn’t have the luxury to choose. *I should clarify that is my view only on my situation, others do not have that perspective, those lived experiences. That is the incredibly difficult matter of mental health, everyone is different, everyone experiences different things, even people experiencing the same things can experience them in a totally different way from one another. There is no right or wrong when it comes to mental health, no “that shouldn’t make you feel that way”, “I wouldn’t let that upset me”. Everyone is different.
I can at least for now say I am in a very good place, I have an incredible partner that has supported me through the good and bad, and together we have our two absolutely wonderful boys, that are our reason for everything. That being said, it doesn’t mean the road ahead is clear, hope for the best is about a good a plan as any, because as much as it is talked about with cancer, the same can be said for mental health. It Does Not Discriminate! And one day it could creep up on me again, out of know where seemingly, but until then I will do what works for me, running, football, long walks with the family.
The benefit of my past suffering is that I know my triggers, I know the warning signs and I know that I need to act fast. The longer you leave it the more difficult any actions become, or even, the more pointless they seem.
At the chance you are still reading, firstly thank you for taking the time, but also maybe the most important message(s) for you personally or someone close to you.
It is ok to not be ok.
There is no weakness in admitting you are not ok, it takes great strength to do this.
If someone you know seems a little off, ask them how they are, probably “fine” but ask again and you may just save a life.