Having been to an all-boys school for my education the stigma is to have thick skin and not say anything. Basically, be seen and not heard, which is devastating for mental health. I had a period of time where I was randomly going off at mates not enjoying the opportunity of being at a great school and moving from an extrovert to an introvert, seemingly becoming a shell of myself. This time I found the pressure of school and life to be too hard to cope with and instead of finding a release point I thought it could just be shoved under the rug, so to speak. However, when I found the courage to push past the stigma of not speaking about my mental health then I felt a weight being removed off my shoulders.

During the period of mental health struggles, I found the best way to combat this was to speak to a support network. I consider myself lucky to have a good network of friends, family and teachers I had a good relationship with. The network allowed me to not be afraid of speaking about these struggles in an ego-first environment within my school (I just want to say my school was unbelievable, with some of the most amazing opportunities out there, along with recently implementing a new mental health support network to help those who are struggling. It is just a very competitive school on all fronts and therefore having this environment. Despite this I would not change the school at all, and highly recommend it)

I found that friends actually will not tear you down if you speak to them concerning your mental health but do the opposite and see if they can do anything to help you. One example saw me yell at friend on a hockey astro for completely no reason. Later after apologising to him and opening up about my mental health not being in a healthy state, he understood me, and I felt that I would not be judged but lifted up to be more confident and almost return to a ‘normal’ me.

Parents recently have come under fire for not noticing the signs for mental health but seeing it as laziness. I see myself as fortunate that when I spoke to them about me struggling mentally, they responded in a positive manner. They offered assistance and gave advice on what they thought would be a good way to clear my head and allow me to go to a ‘happy place’ mentally. To any parent reading this I think that this is a great way to engage with your child as it allows them to trust you and open up about when they are struggling with mental health in particular but also with anything else.

Teachers at school and/or college. They have an aim to help you get the best grade possible, but some teachers go the ‘extra mile’ to make sure that you are doing fine on the mental front with all the pressure in the final years of school. One teacher in particular stood out for me. I first considered it a curse that he always seemed to be getting a new job as the head of year that we as a year group where in at the time. However, it soon became a blessing in disguise as he started to understand how we ticked and knew when we were ‘over the moon’ or not are ‘usual’ selves. He was the teacher I told about the mental struggles I was having and he was not telling me it was ‘going to be ok’, instead he was asking the hard questions where I had to be truthful with myself and start to confront the problem. While it was ugly at the time and may not work with some people, it allowed me to understand how it was ok to be struggling with my mental health and that I was not the only one. He also approached this as how he can help grow a person not fix the person which allowed me to help myself and not hide behind mental health, but talk about it and make it a normal conversation.

Finally, why this year and why now to commit to Movember? For me it allows me to make mental health a normal conversation and allow money to be raised for a great cause while I try to grow a terrible ‘stache. Mental health has for too long been shunned to a corner and not talked about while too many men and boys are not being able to seek help and tragically committing suicide. While I had my struggles and it only lasted for a short period of time it truly taught me a lesson on how to not be afraid of speaking of anything which seems taboo but should be spoken in an open forum. Along with allowing me confide in those who are nearest to me and not over thinking the worst-case scenario when talking about mental health because more often than not those around you are going to help you grow and not tear you down when you speak to them about mental health.

I just want to say a quick thank you for visiting this page and I hope my story has allowed you to have an insight to mental health but also seen how you can help those struggling, but if you are struggling hopefully open up about those tough times because the light at the end of the tunnel is often very close.

Thanks, Jack Hannaford.