Marc Hendry
1  year  Mo Bro

£0

Target: £1,888
raised £1,785 since 2020
My motivation

**LONG ONE AHEAD**

Hey troops, I hope you all are as well as can be. I have signed up for Movember this year and i know this is hard times for people financially but i hope you all can donate as much or as little as possible. I am doing this because mental health, depression and suicide in men(and everyone) is something close to my heart and personally experienced for many years and still do.

I have suffered with mental health since my early twenties (anxiety, depression, paranoia, panic attacks) I spoke to my partner eventually and didn't seek professional help with it at all except just trying different meds. None really helped at that time so i binned them because they were making me worse, against advice of the doctor and suffered A LOT because i was supposed to wean myself off them. I didn't so all the problems in my brain were heightened and i believe it affected me permanently. I I got older and have always been a very nervous person so it stopped me doing simple things like going for a meal or shops i always thought everyone was analysing my every move. I would be so paranoid even leaving the house wearing clothes(that were absolutely fine) but thought people would be talking about the way they looked or the way i was holding cutlery, eating food literally everything was a problem in my head. I always turned to drink for dutch courage.

I would ignore phone calls and texts from friends and family, would never go see them and decline invites to go anywhere even family parties.

I thought too much and stressed myself out about everything and i mean everything from the minute i opened my eyes. No one except my partner knew but i still didn't let on how bad it actually was.

I got suspended from my job just before xmas and new year and didn't know if i was going to be employed anymore to support my family over the festive period so i hit the drink and it just snowballed which was the worst i could do but at the time it helped me block it all out.

I ended up in hospital because i drank that much everyday my pancreas got infected. Worst pain i have experienced In my life and ended up in hospital and told never to drink again.

I got my job back and was doing well and changed my ways. I had managed to train my own brain into accepting that all the things i had wrong with me was just me. This took years to do and some dark places were visited but i was beating these horrible illnesses. Until...

One year on i woke up to a phone call i
Will never forget. I was told the devastating news my little brother Liam had been killed?? I just could not believe what i was hearing and crumbled. The feeling cannot be put into words.

I have lost my 18 year old baby Brother and can never see him again. I never thought i would have been able to cope and believe me i borderline can't. Luckily i have my beautiful partner and daughter to focus on and i want to give them a good life. If i never had them i probably wouldn't be here.

I realised what i was doing was affecting everyone In some way or another and decided to change my ways. My Parents couldn't lose another son!!

I had just had enough of what was going on in my mind, it was affecting my relationship as i was never wanting to do anything but stay in the house. It was ruining my life!!

I still live with all of this and just try to manage each day as it comes but as i said i have changed my ways which has been a massive impact positively on the mind and my health.

If you are in similar position and think theres nothing you can do and feel there is no way out then trust me there is. Seek help from closest to you and some one who will LISTEN, not someone who will laugh or judge, push you away, lead you astray or tell you you are imagining it or even the worst thing of all they say you have lost the plot etc. (Worst thing to say to people suffering with mental health) People like this just don't understand what we are going through which is not good for the battle you are fighting and mostly adds to the problems. Best thing to do is stay back from alcohol (easier said than done i know). Stay positive and have positive thoughts. As i say the best thing i done was train my own brain to accept some things and i can't explain how its done but believe me even though it may seem impossible, IT ISN'T!!!

Thank you all in advance, so if you can give anything and i mean ANYTHING or even SHARE the page, it will be more appreciated than you will ever know!

P.S Don't expect a moustache by the end as at age 33 i can't graft one

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Some Bhoy , sharing your emotions isn’t easy & well done in particular for doing so for a great cause, Superb Kid

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